


But, darling, you are the only exception

by fallendevil17



Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallendevil17/pseuds/fallendevil17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Minseok used to be a flight risk with a fear of fallin’, wondering why one would bother with love if it never lasts, but now he is on his way of believin’ that he is the only exception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But, darling, you are the only exception

**Author's Note:**

> Storyline loosely written based on Taylor Swift’s Mine and Paramore’s The Only Exception

 

Minseok smiles satisfyingly as he looks at the neatly arranged rows of encyclopedias on the shelves. He takes a glance at his digital wrist watch, which shows the digit 3.00. _Mrs. Roosevelt is late for her shift today_ , he notes. Minseok relishes in the extra hours he got to spend in the library. The library is his personal paradise. Nothing in this world can defeat the feeling of being in a serene atmosphere while reading a good book. That is why he chooses to be a librarian anyway. Kim Minseok likes peace and quiet.

 The young man looks around. The library is considered empty save from Mrs. Johnson who is helping her daughter to pick a suitable book as reference for her World History homework and Kenneth, a third year university student who is buried behind thick books, racing against due date for his thesis paper. Minseok chuckles as he reminisces his university days where he, too, struggled to finish his assignments and coping with exams. It feels like it happened yesterday instead of four years ago.

Whilst waiting for the other librarian to take the next shift, Minseok puts some of the books which are left on the table back to its original place. When he heads to the registration counter, Old Mrs. Roosevelt is already placing her bag under the table, wiping her sweat on her face with her thin handkerchief.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Roosevelt.” Minseok smiles politely.

Mrs. Roosevelt brightens when she sees Minseok. “Good afternoon, Kim.” The town people find it difficult to pronounce his name therefore they address him by his surname. Minseok doesn’t mind since it is unlikely they will mistake him for anybody else as he is the only Korean living in this town. “I swear this summer’s really killing me. I am sweating so much when I’ve just walked 5 minutes from home?”

Minseok offers a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, it’s getting hotter every day.”

“Is it this hot too during summer in Korea?” Mrs. Roosevelt enquires.

“Yes.”

Mrs. Roosevelt hums in reply. “Oh gosh, look at the time.” She gushes when she takes a glance at the big clock on the wall behind the registration counter. It is now 3.10 p.m.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Roosevelt. I’m not in a hurry.”

“You are too nice for your own good, Kim.” Minseok flushes. He always does whenever someone compliments him. “Oh no, don’t say that, Mrs. Roosevelt. I am just doing my job, that’s all.”

“Such modesty.” Mrs. Roosevelt beams proudly at Minseok. She reaches for Minseok’s bag and passes it to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you Mrs. Roosevelt.” Minseok nods before clocking out. 

 

**

Mrs. Roosevelt is right. He can feel the heat engulfing him the moment he steps out from the library. The twenty seven year old man feels like a chicken roasted in the hot oven as sweat trickles down his neck and his back. Summer is definitely the second worst season out of all four seasons, after winter, Minseok decides. Sighing, Minseok walks out of the library as he heads home to rest.

On his way home, he sees children in thin summer dresses and shorts, running around with ice creams in their hands. Minseok beams at the children’s antics.

“Hi, Mr. Kim.” Minseok turns around and is greeted by a blonde pair of twins. The fraternal twins wear big smiles on their faces as each holds a vanilla and chocolate flavor ice cream. Minseok grins back at them. He first met the twins when he joins the community’s Sunday service for the first time two years ago and will never forget the fascinated look on their face when they saw Minseok, asking him, was he an alien. Minseok had laughed heartily as Mrs. Manning, their mother and the town’s one and only seamstress, explained that it wasn’t every day that they see Asian foreigners at this part of the town and she apologized for their rude remarks. Minseok had shrugged it off, dismissing it was okay but the twins had definitely left a deep impression ever since.

“Hello, Jane, Ben. I thought you are in school?”

The kids giggle. “It’s summer break, Mr. Kim.”

“Ah, right. I forgot. Sorry.” Minseok chuckles, rubbing his nape bashfully. Right, he almost forgot about it. The children in this town go to the boarding school which is located in the adjacent town. He should have remembered when he heard Max Smith, his neighbor’s youngest son, came home last night.

“We need to go Mr. Kim. Or else there won’t be any empty slot in the arcade.” Ben says, licking his ice cream which is about to melt.

Minseok pats their heads and nods. The kids wave excitedly at him as they run to join their friends in the arcade. Minseok looks at them fondly. This is one of those times when Minseok misses being a child. He almost envies them. Children have no worries. They see the world in rainbows and fluffy cotton candies that it makes you want to do whatever it takes to protect their innocence. But on a second thought, Minseok doesn’t think he would want to be a child again, not when his childhood is mostly filled with unpleasant memories.

Minseok pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind. There’s no point to dwell in the past. He continues to walk home. Along the road, he sees the children having ice creams, which triggers his urge to have something cold too. As if on cue, he sees the Rosewood family’s café few doors away. He grins as he swiftly walks towards said place. The chime hanging above the door rings when he pushes the glass door open.

 

He let out a relief sigh when the cold air from the air conditioners hit him. He glances around for an empty table before settling down in one that’s at the far corner of the shop. Looking through the menu, Minseok wonders what he should order, when he is distracted by the commotion from the opposite table.

 

“You are breaking up with me because of her?!” The woman from the opposite table cries furiously. Her partner, an attractive looking man, probably in his thirties and dressed in formal suit, closes his eyes and rubs his temples. There is no hiding of how exhausted he looks, as if he has been through this so many times.

 

“Rebecca, it’s not…” The woman named Rebecca clenches her teeth, her eyes wide with rage. She reaches for her glass of drink and pours the content on the man. The man is drenched from head to toe, his head hangs low. “I don’t want to see you anymore.” She angrily storms out from the café, leaving the man to heave a tired sigh. He places a bill on the table before leaving.

 

Minseok sighs internally. Why bother to date if it never lasts anyway? Kim Minseok is no believer in romance. He is a realist. He believes that what is so called love only exists in Disney movies. When things go wrong, people leave. In the end, you will be alone and will always be alone. He knew this because he had experienced it first-hand. Minseok always thought that instead of wasting time on temporary bliss, people should actually spend time to do something meaningful, like travel around the world and do charity, for instance. The unnecessary money that people had spent for Valentine’s Day and anniversaries could’ve been more than enough to achieve list of things that are on Minseok’s bucket list.  

 

“Sir, may I take your order?” A soft accented voice asks. Minseok looks up and sees whom is probably the most good looking man that Minseok had seen in his entire life. His jaw line is defined; his black jet hair is a perfect match to his fair snow white skin and his eyes gleam with innocence. His deep dimples are evident on his cheeks as he smiles politely at Minseok.

“Uh…s..sure…” Hell, he, Kim Minseok did not even stutter when he was nervous for first job interview. Why the hell now?

“What would you like to have, sir?” The waiter beams, motioning the menu towards Minseok. The latter ends up flustered when he notices he had stared at the waiter for way too long.

“I’ll … I’ll have an iced Americano.”

The waiter smiles as he retrieves the menu from Minseok. The latter feels the urge to poke his dimples. “Is that all, sir?” Minseok nods absent mindedly.

 

**

Minseok sips his Iced Americano as he tries to read his unabridged copy of “Romeo and Juliet” but he finds it hard to concentrate as his eyes keeps darting to the new waiter. He has never seen the waiter before. _Where is he from? Korea? China? Why is he here, in this small town? Where does he live?_

Wait, why is he asking so many questions? Why does he even want to know? Minseok is now judging himself hard. Kim Minseok doesn’t ask. He answers people’s questions, yes, but never to ask them out of curiosity. Minseok doesn’t want to know because knowing will mean attachment and attachment is the worst thing that can ever happen to him. No, he doesn’t want that for himself. Minseok is happy being alone. But as he steals another glance at the handsome waiter, a peculiar feeling which Minseok can’t put his fingers on haunts him.

 

**

“Goodbye, Mr. Kim.” Minseok smiles at James, another waiter who bids him goodbye. He is already at the door ready to leave but his gaze unconsciously lingers at a specific waiter who is currently serving a table with a family of four. As though he knows someone is staring at him, the waiter turns to look and their eyes meet for a few seconds before Minseok ducks and walks away.

When he is out of the café, Minseok runs his hair in frustration. He tries to calm himself. There must be a logical explanation for this. It must be because of the weather. Yes, yes. Minseok agrees with himself. It’s the weather messing with his head. He should go home and get some rest.

 

**

Minseok isn’t sure whether it is the weather that messes his head or he’s finally losing it. For the following two weeks, Minseok finds himself sitting at the same spot in the same café, ordering the same Iced Americano. He learns that handsome dimple guy, Lay, works part time and his he works the evening shifts on Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Minseok quietly sighs. His copy of ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ never gets past the first page because he is too distracted by the sight of Lay. Every now and then, from the corner of his eyes, he watches Lay serving the incoming customers with that dimpled smile of his.

If anyone asks Minseok what he is actually doing, he can’t really answer because he isn’t sure himself. All he knows is that for some unknown reason (or because of a certain someone, said by a small voice at the back of his voice) he keeps coming back to the café.

Minseok ignores the tingling feeling in his stomach when Lay walks past his table and smiles at him, telling himself repetitiously that it is just because the café served good coffee.

 

**

In the third week of his visit to the café, Minseok stops denying. Okay, perhaps, maybe, he does go to the café to see Lay. Minseok blushes when he admits to himself. _This is so embarrassing!_

As Minseok sits at the registration counter on Monday evening, his bag already on his lap, patiently waiting for the clock to strike three, he reasons with himself. _Well, there isn’t a law that stated you can’t go to a café continuously to see a guy. Besides, I am not bothering anyone. I am just there, drinking my coffee and reading my book. It’s not against the law. It’s normal, Minseok, it’s normal._

 

**

Minseok keeps coming to the café but never once he tries to start a conversation with Lay. As creepy as he sounds, yes, he knows he sounds like a stalker or psychopath, but he is satisfied by just watching Lay from afar.

 

**

As usual, Minseok steps into the café around 3.10pm. James, who shares the same shift as Lay, smiles knowingly at him, as if he is expecting Minseok’s presence.

“You’re early.”

Minseok gives the waiter a shy smile.

“Have a seat. I’ll have you served in a moment.” Minseok nods and settles at his usual spot. Habitually, he searches his bag and takes out his copy of ‘Othello”. Just when he is about to place his book on the table, a tall glass of iced Americano is served before him. Surprised, Minseok looks up. Lay beams brightly at him. Minseok nearly chokes on his own saliva.

“How…how did…you know?”

A bashful smile spreads across Lay’s handsome face as he shyly scratched his nape. “I guess…because you always order the same thing when you come here.” _He noticed. He noticed me!_ Minseok doesn’t understand why he has to be so happy about it but he just does. Lay does notice him. It never crosses his mind that Lay would know because the waiter always seems so busy with his job.

“Thank you.” He mutters softly as rosy pink dusts his cheeks.

“Is it okay if I sit here with you?”

“Huh?” Minseok’s eyes widen.

Lay motions towards the empty café.  “There aren’t many folks around today.” He grins Minseok’s favourite dimple smiles. “And I am sure Mrs. Rosewood wouldn’t mind that I sit down and have a chat with the famous Mr. Kim.”

Minseok blushes furiously. “I’m not famous.”

Yixing laughs. Minseok thinks his laughter is endearing.   

“So, can I sit with you then?”

“Oh, sure.” Minseok watches Yixing pulls a chair and settles down opposite him.  Minseok licks his lips nervously.

“So, Mr. Kim?”

“You can call me Minseok.” Minseok tries his best not to stutter. He really does not want to embarrass himself in front of Yixing. “They call me Kim because they find it difficult to pronounce my name.”

“So, Minseok.” Yixing grins. “They call me Lay, but I prefer Yixing, actually.”

 “Hi, La… I mean, Yixing.”

Yixing chuckles. They fall into a few seconds of silence. Minseok fidgets with his fingers anxiously and glances everywhere except at Yixing.

“You really don’t talk much, do you?”

Minseok looks at Yixing. The said guy is staring straight at him. Not knowing what to say, Minseok forces a smile and awkwardly sips from his drink. He knows he is introvert but to have someone like Yixing to tell him point blank somehow makes Minseok feel …guilty. He knows he shouldn’t because everyone has different personalities and this is who he is but sometimes he wishes that he isn’t socially awkward as he is right now.

 “I would really like to know you, Minseok. You are interesting.”

 

Minseok nearly chokes for the second time in a day.

 

**

“So you’re a librarian?” Yixing asks. The moon isn’t visible tonight, making the streets a little darker than usual. It is quiet, save for the sound of water hitting the pillars of the port. Minseok can feel the chilly night breeze as he walks home with Yixing by his side. After their exchange that day, Yixing has actually approached Minseok for his number. They occasionally text each other and make plans to spend time together (as friends, of course).  They actually went fishing just the other day (but the day ended up with Yixing teaching Minseok about fishing 101 because Minseok doesn’t know a thing about fishing.) It has become a newly formed routine for Minseok to drop by at the café after his shift at 3 in the evening. By now, all the waiters and waitress in the café know his habit and they are kind enough to reserve his usual spot and serve his all-time favourite iced Americano. He sits and waits for Yixing’s shift to end as so they can walk home together (apparently they only lived two houses away from each other.)

“Yes, I am.” Minseok answers. “The income’s steady. Plus, I can have peace and quiet to read.”

“So, you like reading?”

Minseok nods. “Yes. Shakespeare is my all-time favourite. What about you?”

“I sleep the moment my eyes lie on the first page of a book, so no.”

“Oh…” Minseok answers awkwardly.

Yixing intently gazes at Minseok. He places his chin between his finger and thumb as though he is inspecting Minseok, which is starting to make Minseok feeling uncomfortable.

“What is it?”

Yixing hums in reply. “No offence, but you don’t seem like a small town person to me.”

“Why?”

Yixing’s brows arch. “You look like those who would work in huge corporations in big cities or debut as an idol group member. You know, the famous type, the type that tops social network trends every time you appear within the camera shot.”

Minseok laughs loudly at Yixing’s assumption. “I’m flattered but no. I’m not the most sociable person out there. I mean, you are experiencing it yourself.”

“But you are nice and not to mention, handsome too.”

Minseok blushes furiously at Yixing’s casual compliment. This guy throws compliments without warning. Not wanting the conversation to center on him, he diverts the topic. “What about you? I mean, most people would migrate to big cities to make it big but you choose this small, quiet town.”

“I like Kennebunkport. It’s beautiful.”

“Yes, it is.” Minseok agrees. Kennebunkport may not be as big or urban like Seoul but it is beautiful in a way that Seoul can never be.

Silence embraces them as they continue their walk. Silence with Yixing is never awkward. Even when they ran out of things to talk about, they can walk next to each other without feeling the need to fill the silence. He feels utmost comfortable around Yixing.

“I was running away, actually.” Yixing speaks again.

“Hmm?” Minseok turns towards Yixing and finds himself melts at the sight of Yixing’s solemn expression. 

“I was feeling suffocated. My family wanted me to be someone successful. In China, you are only considered successful if you choose to become a doctor, engineer or a businessman.”

Minseok definitely can relate to that. He remembered everyone, be it his neighbors or friends, wanting to know his grades for his college entrance exam and his choice of his future career. When they heard he wanted to pursue a degree in English literature, their reaction wasn’t encouraging at all. “But why English? What can you do with a degree like that?” They made such comments too often that Minseok couldn’t bring himself to bother about it. It is his life after all and he has every right to do whatever he wants with his life.

“But I don’t want to be a great lawyer or doctor. I want to be myself. I want to live my life the way I want it to be. I want to do music. But they said I was too laid back for my own good.”  It may be dark but Minseok clearly sees melancholy reflected in Yixing’s eyes.

“In the end I decided to leave and start a life away from my family. A friend of mine told me that his hometown was a beautiful place, so I decided to heed his suggestion and took up music programme at Sogo Academy.” Yixing smiles. “And I hadn’t regretted a single bit.”

Minseok smiled. It is true. Regret doesn’t come into mind once one resides in this beautiful heaven on earth. After two years living in this small town, he admits he is in love with this town. Kennebunk is a piece of artwork coming to life. It’s alluring. Every day, as he walks to the library, he sees the morning sun rays hit the surface of the water, making it sparkle like diamonds. And the town people are always so kind and inviting to him. It feels like living in a big, big family where everyone knows everyone and cares about each other. Minseok has to admit he feels more at ease with them than he is with anyone back at his home country. 

“So, you play music?”

Yixing grins. “Yeah. I sing and play a few instruments here and there.

“Wow.” Minseok grins back. “You should sing for me sometimes. I would really love to see you do that.”

Yixing beams. “Of course. It will be my pleasure.”

They turn a few blocks before reaching Minseok’s home and Yixing walks Minseok to his doorstep. 

“I learnt something new about you today.” Minseok says; a sense of accomplishment surges in his chest. Once the words are out of his mouth, Minseok is surprised by himself. He actually wants to learn about someone else. All these years he doesn’t take interest in getting to know more about other people (because like he said before, to learn more about another person is equivalent to attachment and he don’t do attachment) but somehow, Yixing comes into the picture and Minseok suddenly discovers that he has an inquisitive side that he never knew. This is scary yet … exhilarating.

“Me too.” Yixing’s cute dimples engrave on his cheeks. “I hope to know more about you every day.” Minseok’s heart may or may have not skipped a beat upon hearing Yixing’s words.

 

**

When summer ends, Minseok sees Yixing less as Yixing needs to attend classes and work at the same time. But, thankfully they are still able to meet up in weekends as Yixing made it a point to take it easy over the weekends.

Minseok enjoys being with Yixing. He likes it when they laze around Yixing’s or his place, having movie marathons or simply eating ice-cream at Old Uncle Mark’s. He likes it when Yixing laughs and animatedly recounts funny stories that he heard in the academy. He likes it when Yixing attempts to tell a joke which is not funny but Minseok laughs anyway because he wants to see Yixing’s dimpled smile.  He likes it when Yixing will hum a tune under his breath or pick up a guitar and sings a random Chinese song at random times. And Minseok thinks he might like Yixing a little more than he should.

 

**

Thick blankets of snow cover the top of buildings as well as road sides. Vibrant lights are hung around houses and shops. Christmas trees are decorated with colorful decorations. Cheery laughter and chatters of the town people fill the air. The town is ready to welcome the arrival of Christmas.

 

The cold December wind whirls past Yixing and Minseok as they walk side by side together to the town’s church for mass service. Yixing had suggested that they should spend Christmas together since none of them are heading back home for Christmas. Yixing’s holidays are too short for him to travel back to China and Minseok doesn’t have anyone back home to celebrate with. His mother will be celebrating with her newlywed husband while his sister already informs him that she will be going for a trip to Jeju Island with her friends. His family is doing well without him. Minseok tries to suppress the bitterness that he tries to avoid feeling. _Well, it isn’t that bad. At least I have Yixing around to keep me company._

_Yixing_. Minseok smiles. This will be their first Christmas together.  Although Minseok looks indifferent, he actually does look forward at celebrating Christmas with Yixing.

In a span of six months, Minseok’s little crush has developed into what people would have called ‘falling in love’. Yes, the almighty, self-proclaimed steel heart Kim Minseok finally succumbs to the guy named Zhang Yixing. This Chinese boy has his heart wavered in a way that terrifies yet excites him. He doesn’t even know he is capable of loving anyone until Yixing comes along. He knows he shouldn’t fall in love because love doesn’t last. He knows that. He has been telling himself that for the past decade but when it comes to Yixing, he just couldn’t help himself. He is falling hard and fast for Yixing.

 

The cold wind blew and Minseok pulls his thick jacket closer to himself. He likes Christmas, but not winter. Winter is the least favourite seasons of his. There aren’t enough vocabularies to describe how he despises his fingers and toes to freeze into ice blocks or the cold chilly air that feels like it’s going to bite his face off.  He hates winter with a passion.

“Minseok?”

Minseok turns to Yixing, who looks at him with concern. “Are you feeling cold?”

Minseok tries to smile. He swears he can feel his face aches when he tries to. Damn this cold winter.

“It..it..s…o…kay…” Out of the sudden, Yixing reaches for Minseok’s freezing hands, holding them between his own and rubbing them to warm them. Minseok didn’t see that coming. He shouldn’t do that. He makes Minseok to feel …things. Minseok gulps nervously.

“Better now?” Minseok nods, stunned, as his brain tries to process the fact that Yixing is holding his hands. No matter how Minseok tries to contain his thoughts, he can’t help but to think how Yixing’s long, slender fingers are a perfect fit with his short, stubby fingers. How Minseok wishes that they really belong together. But the chances are so slim that Minseok can’t see the possibility for it to happen. He can’t complain though. Platonic or not, at least he gets to hold his hand and that should be good enough.

When Minseok thinks it can’t get any better, Yixing laces their fingers together and throughout their way to church, Yixing hadn’t let go of Minseok’s hands. He wills himself not to read into this too much. It is possible that Yixing is being a nice friend and wants to help him feel warmer. Minseok doesn’t want to put on high hopes that Yixing might like him back the same way.

 

Suddenly Yixing halts his steps. Minseok glances curiously at Yixing, only to meet Yixing’s unfathomable gaze. Yixing stares straight into Minseok, making the latter overwhelmed with discomfort yet he can’t bring himself to look away from him. Moments pass and it feels like someone has frozen the time. The thought doesn’t stay long when Yixing begins to lean in and places a chaste kiss on Minseok’s cheek. Minseok’s eyes widen at Yixing, who in turn chuckles when he pulls away.

“Uh…You…We…” _Is this even true? Yixing kisses him…Does that mean…he…he likes him too?_

Yixing smiles. “Merry Christmas, Minseok.” Yixing doesn’t say much but Minseok thinks he can see it in Yixing’s intense gaze. He feels it in his gentle but firm grip on his hand.

“Merry Christmas, Yixing.”

Minseok decides perhaps winter wasn’t that bad, after all.

 

**

They spend every day together. Minseok still drops by the café and waits for Yixing’s shift to end. They will leisurely stroll along the harbor, holding hands, as they laugh and talk about everything and nothing. Their weekends are spent having car movie dates which none of them actually ever know the ending of the movies they are watching because they always end up kissing each other senseless or a walk in the beach where they watch sunrises or sunsets together.

It doesn’t take long for the entire town to know. They live in a small town, after all. Fortunately for them, the town people are open- minded about same sex relationship and they are genuinely happy for the lovebirds.

Minseok couldn’t have been happier than he was right now. Yixing is everything he never knows he could’ve want and have. 

 

**

“Bao bei?”

“Hmm?” Minseok hums in reply. A fond smile spreads across his face. Yixing is comfortably lying on the couch with his head on Minseok’s lap. He plays with Yixing’s hair as Yixing closes his eyes enjoying Minseok’s touch.

“Bao bei” was a nickname given by Yixing which means ‘darling’ in Chinese. It was impromptu. They were watching an old Chinese movie together when Yixing had called him with that nickname. He had elbowed Yixing telling him that the nickname was embarrassing. Yixing held his stomach as he laughed at Minseok’s reaction.

Minseok is convinced that Yixing enjoys seeing him blush when he calls his nickname in public. He tells Yixing again and again to stop calling him with the endearment term but the more he tells him off, the more he does it. In the end, Minseok stops telling Yixing off. But what Minseok doesn’t tell Yixing is that he secretly likes the nickname a lot.

An advertisement plays, cutting in the Saturday Korean drama that they are now watching.

Yixing interlaces his fingers with Minseok’s. “Do you want to move in with me?”

“Move in with you?” Minseok repeats. He would like to think he hears it wrongly but he is pretty sure that Yixing just invited him to move in with him.

“Yeah, live together with me.” Yixing rises from his initial position. He seats himself next to Minseok and looks straight into his eyes. “I know my place isn’t really that big but it’ll be enough to fit us both.”

“Umm…” Minseok hasn’t expected their relationship to move so fast. It has only been three months since they started to date. Moving in together is a huge step. It will mean that they are ready to move forward to another level in their relationship. It’s true that they often sleep over in each other’s houses but this is different. Moving in together will mean that they will be sharing personal living space. It will feel like as if they are marr.. Minseok gulps. It’s too fast to mention the **M** word. Who even guarantees that they will end up…that way? The point is that Minseok isn’t sure he is ready. Yixing is his first love, so he has never been through anything like this before.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Yixing cradles Minseok’s face and make kissy faces. Minseok lightly pushes Yixing away and scowls. Yixing chuckles before crossing his legs together and concentrates on the drama which is now playing after the five minutes advertisement interval. 

Minseok glances at Yixing whose attention is fully on the drama. Although he doesn’t show, Yixing must have been disappointed somehow. He knows it is his own fault. He is terrified at how fast their relationship was heading. He fears what they have now will disappear too soon.

“Yixing…” Minseok mumbles lowly but Yixing hears Minseok and immediately turns towards him. “Hmm?” Minseok stares at Yixing. Sometimes Minseok thinks he might have saved an emperor in his past life to deserve Yixing. Under the dim light radiated from the television, Minseok sees a perfect person. Yixing was perfect. He is so alluring. He’s an angel, one without a pair of wings. This man has been nothing but patient and loving to him. Minseok loves him so much, so much that his heart swells every time he looks at him. His thoughts are always revolving around this man. Minseok knows everything that comes will eventually go but he doesn’t think he can ever let Yixing go.

“Minseok ah…” Yixing prompts. He looks at Minseok, waiting patiently for Minseok to say something.

“I would love to.”

Yixing cocked his head, confusion on his face. “Huh?”

“I would love to move in with you.”

Yixing brightens. “Really?”

Minseok gives a light nod and smiles. Before meeting Yixing, he has always thought that he was okay with his non-existence love life because he doesn’t see the point of risking everything for something that doesn’t last. But Yixing is an exception. They are in love with each other. The small voice in the back of his mind tells him that they are going to make it somehow. They aren’t going to break.

Minseok used to be a flight risk with a fear of falling but now Minseok is willing to take any risk because Yixing is worth it. 

 

**

Yixing notices that Minseok isn’t one with many belongings. He expects to see boxes and boxes of books since Minseok is an avid reader but to his surprise, he only sees two large suitcases and four medium sized boxes in the front lawn of Minseok’s house. It doesn’t take them long to move Minseok’s belongings from his home to Yixing’s home. When they reach Yixing’s home, they unload Minseok’s belongings at the living room. When Minseok goes out to carry his suitcases, Yixing takes the initiative to help Minseok to sort out the boxes. He begins with the smallest box that is stacked on top of the four boxes. He opens it. The box contains a few of Minseok’s paperback novels and a photo frame. He takes out the photo frame to have a better look. It’s a picture of Minseok’s family, where Minseok sits in his father’s arms while his sister, younger, Yixing assumes, leans against his mother’s embrace. Yixing chuckles. Minseok looks exactly like he was when he was a child. 

“Yixing…” Minseok’s expression evidently hardens when he sees Yixing holding his family’s photo frame.

“You are finished?” Yixing offers a smile.

“Ya.” Yixing isn’t that oblivious to not notice Minseok’s discomfort. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude your privacy.”

“It’s okay.” Minseok steps across the room and goes to Yixing.

“You look the same like you did when you were young.” Yixing stares at Minseok as he caresses his lover’s cheek. His cheeks are flushed red and beads of sweat are visible on his forehead. Minseok looks dangerously seductive. Yixing can’t help but to be amazed by his lover. One of these days, he can be really cute and squishy with his hair tied up like a coconut tree and the next day he can be sinfully sexy with his hair down, sturdy arm muscles and enticing expression. This guy can really do wonders. Yixing smiles with a fond expression on his face as he wipes Minseok’s sweat with his hands.

Minseok grins. “Thanks. I get that a lot.” Minseok retrieves the photo frame from Yixing. Minseok’s smile still remains on his face but Yixing knows that it is no longer the same amused smile that he had before. Minseok’s smile is something similar to melancholy as if he is reminiscing something precious that he had lost. Minseok wraps his fingers around Yixing’s wrist and lightly pulls him down to be seated on the couch.

Yixing sits next to Minseok and patiently waits for Minseok to speak. Minseok’s gaze is solemn as his fingers trace the old photograph. Yixing knows Minseok is making an effort to open up to him. When Yixing first met Minseok, his instinct told him that Minseok was different. There was no mistake about the glint of loneliness in his eyes. Unlike any person whom Yixing met who would open up to him after a few meetings, Minseok was distant, only allowing people to see what he want them to see. He was friendly, but Yixing could see that he distanced himself emotionally from people. It was as if he restrained himself from getting emotionally attached to people. Yixing always wondered, wouldn’t it be lonely to live such way? Why wouldn’t he open up? These questions had become a driving factor for Yixing to know more about Minseok. With each day passing, as he interacts with Minseok more, the urge to protect Minseok becomes stronger. Yixing finds a new resolution to make the loneliness disappear from Minseok’s gaze. He wants Minseok to be truly happy.

In all honesty, he was afraid that Minseok would reject him when he decided to do his impromptu confession. But thanks to the heavenly above, Minseok reciprocated his feelings and Yixing is more than determined to make this relationship work.

 “My parents divorced when I was 10.”

 “We used to be happy.” Bits of old memories begin to flash in Minseok’s reverie. His mind projects old images of his father coming home through the front door with a tired but bright smile as his mother welcomed him home with a loving smile; his father driving them to the nearest mall to have McDonalds during the weekends, telling his sister and him to eat slowly because they couldn’t wait to finish their meals and play at the children’s play area at the franchise. Minseok smiles sadly. It is so long ago that it feels surreal. Minseok feels as if it was somebody else’s childhood memories instead of his.

“Then everything changed. At first it was just petty fights. They tried to pretend that everything was okay in front of me and Min Eun but we could hear the shouting in the night. Later, the fights just got worse and they stopped pretending everything was alright.”

 “One day, my mom found out that my dad had an affair with his secretary. She caught him on bed with the woman and it led to their divorce.” He would never forget those horrible nights when he could hear his mother’s stifled cries in the room next door as he gripped his blanket tight. He was so mad, so devastated.  His father broke not only his mother’s heart, but his as well. All those years, he had looked up to his father as his role model only to know that his father hurt everyone who loved him. 

 

“It was so cliché, almost like those dramas we watched on TV.” Minseok chuckles humorlessly. Yixing reaches for Minseok’s hand. A child is like glass; once you break them, you probably won’t be able to fix them into whole again. Yixing’s heart pains. Yixing’s family isn’t the most ideal family but he knows his parents love each other enough to keep the family together. He doesn’t know how Minseok has picked himself up through those years.

 “My mom got the custody for Min Eun and I. After the divorce, we only got to see my dad probably once or twice. I don’t know. I lost count. He stopped visiting us when he remarried. Not that we are bothered anyway.” Yixing can tell that Minseok is far from being okay about his father’s absence.

“They promised on the altar that they would stay together until death did them apart. But they fell out of love and they could just so easily walk out of each other’s life, as if the decades had meant nothing to them.”

“Does love really exist? Is love enough to make two people stay together until the end? Is love worth it? What if everything falls apart? What if you gave someone your heart and all they did was breaking yours?” Minseok turns to Yixing. Meeting his gaze, Yixing feels a pang on his heart. His boyfriend looks shattered; his voice merely a whisper. “What am I going to do if you break me?”

Yixing pulls him into his embrace. He feels Minseok’s hands wrap around his waist tightly, as if he is afraid that Yixing’s going to leave him. “I won’t break you.” He kisses the top of Minseok’s head. “I promise, we won’t make your parents’ mistake.” Yixing vows that no one, not even himself, can ever hurt Minseok.

_Minseok-ah, I’ll make you happy. I promise._

 

**

“Where are we going?” Minseok yawns. He doesn’t understand (probably will never do) understand how anyone can be in such good mood as early as 7am. But Zhang Yixing can. This guy is always smiley and almost doesn’t have a temper (they’ve dated for almost a year now and the only time when Minseok saw Yixing flared up was when he couldn’t get his notes right. But he cooled down almost immediately that Minseok doubted that was counted as getting angry.)

Yixing grins cheekily. “We are going for a boat ride.”

“And why does it have to be this early?”

Yixing pinches his cheeks. He tries to push Yixing away but Yixing starts making kissy faces at him. He scowls. “Yes, it is or else we’ll miss sunrise.”

Minseok’s brows arch. “Why not sunset?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“Because.”

“Yixing...”

“Come on, Jackson’s waiting for us.” Yixing pulls Minseok towards Jackson. Jackson is the owner of the shop providing equipment for the water activities available in town.  As they walk towards the lakeside, Jackson waves excitedly at them.

“Hey, Jackson.”

“Hey, Lay, Kim.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Aww, don’t mention it. Anything for you lovebirds.” Jackson winks cheekily at Minseok, causing Minseok to blush.

Jackson guides them in strapping their life jackets. Once they are done putting on their life jackets, Minseok reaches out for the paddles but Yixing holds him by his wrist and takes the paddle from him. “Let me do the honor.” Yixing grins. Minseok raises a brow at his boyfriend, feeling suspicious. For a normal boat ride, Yixing is getting a tad bit too excited. He knows something is up in Yixing’s sleeve. Nevertheless, Minseok gives in to him and climbs into the boat instead. With a little help from Jackson, Yixing manages to get the boat moving. At first, Yixing is struggling with the paddles, and Minseok badly wants to help. But Yixing seems determined to do this on his own. Minseok knows that Yixing can be really adamant when he puts his mind to do something so Minseok holds back his offer to help. After a few tries, Yixing seems to get it right and he grins in triumph at Minseok when he finally perfects his rows. Minseok chuckles in amusement at Yixing’s behavior.

 

Yixing stops paddling when the boat reaches the middle of the lake. The sounds of birds chirping and the smell of fresh air surround them as they patiently wait for the sun to rise. The perfect scenery makes those few hours of sleep worth sacrificing, after all.

 “Minseok! Look there!” Yixing exclaims happily.

“What? What is it?” Minseok turns to see behind him. He tries to search for what had gotten Yixing excited but he sees nothing. There are just trees. _Wait a minute…._

“Zhang Yixing, you…” When Minseok turns around, he doesn’t expect to see Yixing holding out a ring to him.

“Yixing…”

“Minseok, you know I am not good with words. I can’t write good poetry or stories like William Shakespeare or Charles Dickens. But what I am about to tell you comes sincerely from the bottom of my heart.”

“Minseok, from the very first time I saw you, I am drawn to you. I don’t know whether the loneliness in your eyes or your beautiful face that pulls me to you, but I am sure I am attracted to you. For the first time in my life, I want to know about someone so much. I want to know you.”

“I’m grateful that you opened up to me. I never have the chance to tell you but on that Christmas Eve night, when you accepted me, I think I could explode with happiness.”

“I know you have your doubts and insecurity. But Minseok, I would never, ever hurt you. If you let me, if you can just give me a chance, I would like to show you forever, our own happily ever after.”

Hot tears prick Minseok’s eyes.

 “Kim Minseok, I love you. Will you marry me?”

 

_Yixing…_

Everyone may hurt him, but not Yixing.

From the start, he knows, his heart knows, Yixing is the only exception.

 

 Choking back a sob, Minseok said: “Yes. I will marry you, Zhang Yixing.”

 

He lets Yixing slips the ring to his finger and kisses his tears away.

 

**

Marriage plan seems impossible at the time being, especially when Yixing is still studying, so they decide to get married in the next two years.

Yixing graduates a few days after his birthday, and shortly after, Yixing receives a job offer from a renowned music recording company. The company’s opening a new music studio in the neighboring town. The pay is promising but there is one minus point. As the journey from Kennebunkport to the nearest town is about 45 minutes’ bus ride, Yixing needs to travel back and forth for 45 minutes every single day. Anyone can see that it is tiring in long term perspective but Yixing takes up the job without hesitation. He doesn’t have much choice. They are struggling to pay bills. Last week, Mr. Potter, his landlord who lives across the road, decided to raise their rent. Minseok’s low librarian salary and his waiter salary are not sufficient to pay their expenses.

Guilt overwhelms Minseok when Yixing comes home every night, clearly exhausted from his job and the travelling. Although Minseok has advised Yixing to quit his job and suggests that he can take a part time job to support both of them, Yixing assures him that it was all right.

“I don’t want you to tire yourself out, Minseok. Besides, I’m responsible for us too. I can’t have you carry the burden all by yourself. I promised to take care of you, didn’t I?” Yixing had kissed Minseok’s forehead. “Don’t worry, Minseok. I am strong for both of us.”

 

**

Things are changing for the better, or Minseok thinks it should. When Yixing comes home one night, ecstatic, telling Minseok that he was promoted to assistant producer, he should feel happy for him but strangely, he doesn’t. The news brings an ominous feeling that he just can’t shake off. He blames himself for being paranoid and convinces himself again and again that nothing is going to happen.

 

It is working. He actually starts believing himself that everything is okay. The self-hypnotizing method works like a force field, blocking all the negative thoughts.

 

**

Then, the force field starts to crumble. It all begins when Yixing comes home really late at night. It falls a little bit more when once Yixing hasn’t come home for two nights in a row, with only a text message saying that he had too much to do and won’t be able to make it home. There isn’t any cheesy emoticons or ‘I-love-yous’ like he always does when they text. The final straw strikes when Minseok picks up Yixing’s coat while he is in the showers and catches a whim of girls’ perfume. Minseok’s hand trembles with fear as he holds the coat.

 

**

“Yixing..” Minseok leans against Yixing and wraps his arms around Yixing’s waist a little tighter a little closer than usual that night.

“Hmm?” Yixing hums sleepily.

“I love you.”

“Silly, me too.” Yixing always says ‘I love you’ back at him but now he doesn’t.

The signs are there for Minseok to see. What Minseok fears has finally happened. He’s losing Yixing.

 

Minseok doesn’t sleep that night.

 

**

Minseok wipes clean the last plate before putting it on the rack. He looks around the house. Every corner of the house appears to be tidy and spotless but he isn’t satisfied. He grabs a cloth and begins to wipe the dining table which he just wiped 10 minutes ago. He scrubs and scrubs invisible dirt on the table but gives up in the end as he slumps down on the chair. His large, purple suitcase has been lying in the living room since afternoon.

_What excuses are you going to use this time, Kim Minseok? You told yourself that you’ll leave when the house is clean. Now it is. Every inch of the house is spotless. You are ready to go. What are you waiting for? Waiting for everything to fall apart before your eyes?_

Minseok isn’t ready. He tells himself that he is, when he wakes up on an empty bed this morning, when he hands in his resignation letter to Mrs. Roosevelt this afternoon but he knows he isn’t. The truth is he doesn’t want to leave. But what choice does he have? To wait for the final curtain call? To wait for Yixing to tell him it’s not working anymore?

The sound of someone fumbling with the keys outside the door snaps Minseok out of his reverie. He feels his heart hammers rapidly against his ribcage. _This is it. It’s time._

“Bao bei, I’m home.”

Minseok feels a pang in his heart. He hasn’t heard that nickname for so long and he probably won’t hear it anymore.

“Bao bei?”

Minseok gets up from his chair and walks towards the living room. Yixing looks at him in confusion.

“You’re going somewhere?”

“Let’s break up.” Minseok’s voice sounds calmer than he has expected.

“Minseok…”

“Let’s end this. If we end this peacefully, we can still be friends.” Minseok honestly doubts that.

“Why, Minseok? We are fine. Why are you doing this out of the sudden?”

“No, we are not. You are done with me.”

“No. I’m not. Why would you even say that?”

“Please don’t do this, Yixing.”

“What is it? Tell me Minseok. What did I do wrong?! ”Minseok stays quiet.

Yixing runs his hair in frustration. Minseok thinks it is unfair Yixing can still look so good even when he is on the verge of exploding. “That’s the problem, Minseok. If there is a problem, we talk about it, not avoiding it. But you just…You don’t tell, Minseok. You expect me to know what you think all the time. But I don’t. I’m so tired of having to guess whatever that goes in your head.”

 

**_Tired._ **

He is tired of him.

Of course he is.

Everyone gets tired of him.

 

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, Minseok. Yes.”

Minseok inhales sharply. “I leave because I don’t want to wait for you to tell me it is over.”

“What are you talking about?” Yixing asks, obviously irritated.

“Do you think I don’t know what are you doing? You are seeing someone behind my back!”

“Oh, please, for goodness sake, Min Seok! I am so busy working that I don’t even get much sleep. What makes you think I have time to see someone else?!”

“What has working got to do with alcohol and girls’ perfume?”

“Minseok, I can’t just sit around in the office. I need to go and…”

“You want me to believe you that you are just working and not flirting with those girls?”

“Yes, Minseok! Yes! Because I am your boyfriend, Minseok! We are supposed to trust each other! How are we going to live together if you don’t even have a little faith in me?”

“Then, maybe we aren’t meant to live together after all.”

“Kim Minseok!” Yixing stares at Minseok in disbelief.

“I should have known. I should have said no.” Minseok looks at Yixing intently. He shouldn’t have said yes. He should have kept his feelings to himself. If he never had said yes, he would still have Yixing. But now everything is lost. 

He feels his sight getting blurry. Minseok sees Yixing panics as he reaches out for him. “Minseok…”

Minseok steps away from Yixing. He wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry for everything.” Minseok gathers his suitcase. Every step he takes towards the door feels so heavy. “Goodbye Yixing.”

 

The door shuts behind him.

 

**

Minseok walks aimlessly. When he looks up, he sees himself in front of the library. He drags himself and sits on the steps. It is chilly tonight. Minseok hugs his knees to his chest trying to warm himself. He has forgotten about his jacket when he exits the house.

He looks up at the sky. Neither the moon nor the stars are visible tonight. The skies resemble how he feels now. Empty.

 _Running_ , that’s all Minseok knows in his life. He ran away from home when his parents broke into fights. He ran away when the cute junior from his faculty confessed to him because he didn’t have the courage to reject him. He ran away to another continent when he couldn’t bear with the idea of his family moving on while he is stuck, confined by his fears from the past.  And now he runs away because his relationship is falling apart.

He knows running away doesn’t solve the problem. But apart from running, he doesn’t know what he should do. All these years he let fear takes control of his life. He doesn’t even try to step out his comfort zone because he is so afraid of getting hurt. He knows he is a coward and Yixing doesn’t need a coward like him.

“Yixing…” Minseok’s heart clenches at the mention of the name. Yixing… After a year together, Yixing is all he knows. He vaguely remembers his days before Yixing came along. His dimple smiles… His loving gazes… His warm touches…

Minseok hugs his knees tighter. What is he going to do now?  How can he move on when the one he is running away from is a part of who he really is?

 

**

“Minseok.” Minseok doesn’t need to look up to know who call him.

“Minseok.” Yixing kneels before Minseok and puts a jacket on him but the latter pushes him away.  However Yixing is persistent as he puts the jacket on Minseok again before pulling him into his arms. 

“Let me go!” Minseok uses all his might to push Yixing away but he has no match to his tight hold.

“I’m sorry, Bao bei. Just listen to me…”

“Damn it! Yixing, let go of me!”

“No! I’m not letting you go. Please, bao bei, just hear me out…”

“Zhang Yixing! Let me…umph!” Without any warning, Yixing grabs Minseok’s face and kisses him hard. Minseok immediately goes weak when he feels Yixing’s tongue in his mouth. As he feels Yixing’s tongue intertwines with his, Minseok stops resisting and circles his arms around Yixing’s neck. How long has he last tasted Yixing’s mouth? He misses him so much.

When Yixing is sure that Minseok’s not gonna run, he slowly pulls away. Minseok almost whines for the loss. “I’m so sorry.” Yixing says breathlessly. His lips are red and swollen; his breath rags. “I was stressed out with work. I didn’t mean to lash it out on you. I am so, so sorry.”

 “I swear I didn’t cheat on you. I was really working. The girls’ perfume…I am not sure how they got onto my coat. It must have been when we went out with the trainees for a drink …”Yixing mumbles. When he knows how wrong it sounds to Minseok, he nervously explains. “I didn’t go alone! I went with the producers. The entire team was there. I swear. I didn’t even sit with the girls! I swear that I really, really am telling the truth!”

Minseok searches into Yixing’s eyes but all he sees is sincerity and honesty in his black orbs.

Yixing hesitates for a while. His tongue darts out to lick his dry lips. “It’s supposed to be a surprise but… I want to save enough money so that we can get married in Italy next August. I thought it would be a great idea to get married during our second anniversary.” Minseok’s eyes widen at the new piece of information. “They told me they are going to give me a raise if the project that we are working on is successful. That is why I come home really late recently.”

Minseok’s jaw drops in shock. “You…You remember?” Before they dated, Minseok had once mentioned casually about the ancient city and its exquisite beauty which makes it a wonderful place to plan a wedding. Minseok cannot believe that Yixing actually remembers.

“Of course I do. I remember everything you said.” Yixing manages a small smile. “You said it would be a dream come true to have our wedding in Italy.”

 “Yixing…”To say Minseok is touched by Yixing’s gesture will be an understatement. Minseok is overwhelmed with emotions.

“I was really anxious about realizing your dreams that I forget my main priority. I’m so sorry, Minseok. I really, really am.”  Yixing’s warm palm leaves pleasant, tingling feeling on Minseok’s cold cheek. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will never want to leave you. I love you and I want to be with you, forever.”

Minseok feels terrible after listening to Yixing’s confession. All these time, Yixing goes through all the trouble just so he can have his dream wedding. What he does is accusing him for being unfaithful. He should have believed Yixing. Why didn’t he? Why hadn’t he?

Minseok’s sight starts to turn blurry. Without hesitation, Yixing wipes away Minseok’s tears. “I told myself I’ll never let you cry yet I am the one who make you cry.  I’m not going to let this happen anymore.”

“Yixing….I don’t deserve you. You…you are too good for me…” Minseok sobs heavily. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It is his fault that they end up like this. He is the one who ruins their relationship with his fears and insecurity. If he could have been braver, if he could have just asked instead of running away, none of this would have happened.

“I am a coward…I am scared….scared that you will leave me…..I shouldn’t…”

“Minseok ya…” Yixing cradles Minseok’s face so that he looks at him. “You are not. It’s okay to be scared. I know you are scared that we’ll make your parents’ mistake. But you don’t have to be, not anymore, okay? I am here for you. I need you to trust me.”

“Yixing…you are right. I should have been honest with you. If I have just asked, we…”

“I know. It’s my fault too. I kept a secret from you.”

“But...”

“Both of us are wrong and today’s fight proves that we should change for the better.”

“I promise I’ll never abandon you like I did. Yixing pinches Minseok’s nose. “And you need to promise me that you’ll never keep things to yourself. We’ll talk it out when there’s an issue and no more running away, okay?”

Minseok nods. “Promise.”

Yixing chuckles. He reaches for Minseok’s hand and interlaces their fingers together. “Let’s go home.”

 

**

“You stink.” Minseok jokes, noticing that his boyfriend is still in his crumpled office wear.

“And whose fault is that I hadn’t even have time to have a good shower?”

Minseok pouts. Grabbing his boyfriend’s towel, he approaches Yixing to pass him his towel. “Here, go shower.” Reaching for the towel, he sneakily pulls Minseok into his arms. Minseok looks at Yixing, who is grinning impishly. He leans in and kisses the area behind Minseok’s ears before whispering into his ears with a sultry voice. “Let’s shower together?”

“I’ve already showered.” Minseok blushes at the preposition.

“Keep me company?”

 

**

Minseok sits on the toilet bowl cover as he watches Yixing strips. Minseok is embarrassed as hell; he is 100% sure that his cheeks are as red as ripe tomatoes but he can’t find it in him to look away from Yixing. His eyes unconsciously trace the Chinese man’s pale neck, and when he lays eyes on that fine, _fine_ abs, Minseok feels the familiar gush of blood travels down south. 

When Yixing begins to remove his pants, Minseok tries to avert his sight to somewhere else, but right then he feels Yixing’s slender finger under his chin. The said man gently lifts his chin; their eyes meet and every inch of Minseok’s feels sizzling hot under Yixing’s piercing gaze.

 With feather-light touch, Yixing’s finger traces down to Minseok’s abdomen, leaving a tingling feeling on Minseok’s skin, despite fully clothed.

Giving a gentle tug at the edge of his shirt, Yixing glances at Minseok. “Can I?” The shorter man nods. Minseok feels vulnerable but he isn’t afraid. He knows he doesn’t need to resist Yixing. He understands now; even if the whole world turns their back at him, cutting him with their vicious words and condescending stares, Yixing will be on the other side, wearing his favourite dimple smile, as he welcomes him into his warm and secure embrace.

This extraordinary, wonderful man has made him whole again; He gives him the courage to feel those decades-long concealed emotions. He bestowed Minseok sentiments that he would never thought would have the privilege to feel. Yixing offers everything he has to Minseok, never once asking for the same things in return. 

Minseok owes **_that much_** to him.

 

And Minseok wants to give him. He wants to give his everything to Yixing.

Staring into Yixing’s lust-filled eyes, Minseok knows **_tonight_** is the night.

He’s going to bare all of him to Yixing.

Minseok surrenders to him.

 

**

Minseok stirs. His eyes slowly flutters open, his mind trying to remember where is he now. When he sits up, an ache strikes his lower back. Right. Yixing and him… Last night’s memory comes rushing into his mind as he blushes different shades of red.

He looks to the side of his bed. It is empty. Wrapping a blanket around his naked body, he slowly rises from the bed and takes small steps at a time, the sore in his lower back making him unable to walk like normal.

As Minseok walks down the hallway, he hears a faint melody from the living room. He sees Yixing sitting by the window with a guitar on his lap. The pen in his lips and a music sheet situate next to him. It’s been a long time since Minseok sees a sight like this. Yixing used to compose when he feels like it and Minseok would just sit quietly as he watched the music genius work his composition. Minseok loves the focus in his eyes as he seriously tries out the music tunes. He cannot believe that he almost loses this, all these because of his stupid fears.

Yixing seems to notice Minseok’s staring at him. “Did I wake you up?”

Minseok shakes his head. He limps towards Yixing. Yixing looks with a concerning look.

“Let me get the painkillers for you.” Yixing asks as he gently hoists Minseok up into his lap.

“No, it’s okay.”

“Sure?” Yixing nuzzles into Minseok’s neck, making Minseok ticklish. Minseok lets out a giggle. “Yes, I am sure.”

“Okay.” Yixing trails kisses down his neck and shoulder. “You look so cute, like this, being cocooned with the blanket.”

Minseok blushes. “Yixing…”

“And last night…” Yixing kisses the back of his ear. His lips touch the shell of his ear as he whispers so seducingly. “…you’re so beautiful, so sexy that I just want to ….” He pauses for a while. “… love you _so, so_ hard.” He presses on the word ‘so’ with a seducing tone.

“Yixing, why…why you always do this to me?”

“Do what?”

“This…Your words always make me blush.”

Yixing let out a loud laugh. He caresses Minseok’s red cheeks. “Because I like to see you all blushing. It’s cute.”

“Zhang Yixing.”

“Kim Minseok.” Yixing imitates Minseok’s warning tone but fails miserably as he breaks into a smile; Minseok’s favorite dimple smiles of Yixing.

“Yixing?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“What is it?”

“Let’s move to the next town. We’ll get a small house. Like this, it’ll be nearer to your work place and you don’t have to travel to and from here so tiring.”

“But… your job, Minseok. And the wedding…”

“Nothing is more important to me than your well being. A wedding is just a wedding. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where and how we are going to get married. I just want to be with you.”

“Minseok ya…”Yixing kisses Minseok’s lips. “Okay.”

 

**

“Sir, may I take your order?” Minseok looks up from his ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’. He breaks into a wide, amused smile when he sees Yixing standing before him, flashing a cheeky grin. Dressed in his unbuttoned white shirt and rumpled black slacks, hair slightly disheveled, his husband is a hot mess. And Minseok takes pride that this hot mess is his.

 “I’ll have an Iced Americano, please.” Minseok decides to play along with his husband’s antics.

“Coming right up.” Yixing mock salutes, laughing, while making his way to the bar counter.

“I thought you will be back late. It’s only 10.” Minseok asks as he watches his husband makes his drink. Earlier in the evening, Yixing had a reunion dinner with his old college mates, telling Minseok that he might come home very late in the night and has asked him not to wait up for him. Yixing has always maintained close contact with the college mates and he had assumed that his husband would have a lot to catch up with his friends.

“Everyone was already drunk, so the party ended earlier.” Yixing places a glass of orange-coloured drink before him.

Minseok frowns. “I thought I’ve asked for an Americano?”

Yixing pulls a no-you-have-to-listen-to-me face. “Too much caffeine is not good for you, _bao bei_.”

Minseok pouts, causing Yixing to burst into laughter.

“Aigooo, _bao bei,_ be good, okay?” He reaches out to pinch Minseok on the cheeks but the latter playfully slaps his hand away. Clearly amused by Minseok’s response, Yixing laughs louder and plants a short kiss on Minseok’s cheek.

“Thanks.” Minseok grabs Yixing’s wrist and giving him a grateful smile before gently letting go. It doesn’t matter that they’ve been together for so long and they know each other very well, for Minseok doesn’t take things for granted. He still finds it important to express appreciation over sweet gestures that his husband showers him. Life has taught Minseok enough that it’s little things that make or break a relationship.  

Yixing winks. Minseok rolls his eyes in fake annoyance, trying his best to hide his smile as he takes a sip from his juice.

“I’ll get this cleaned up and then we can go home.” Yixing says as he walks to the bar counter. Watching Yixing diligently cleaning up the bar, nostalgia overwhelms Minseok. Seven years ago, he had sat at the same spot, stealing not so subtle glances at him. And seven years later, here they are, doing the exact same thing. The sense of déjà vu is almost real, but only that it isn’t the same anymore.

The waiter whom he used to steal glances at is now his husband and the café where they first have their destined encounter belongs to both of them now.

They never got married in Italy. Instead, they (more like Minseok, because Yixing was so adamant to make his dreams come true. It took several nights of _‘bed activities’_ to finally convince Yixing that he doesn’t want any luxurious wedding in Italy) chose to have a small wedding ceremony in the town’s chapel in the presence of the townspeople as well as their family members and close friends. Realizing the job was taking a toll on their relationship Yixing resigned and used the extra cash he earned to buy over the café when the old Rosewood couple decided to retire and live with their children in New Zealand. Yixing never gives up on music. He still composes songs from time to time and sends them to his old company for royalties. Or when he gets too bored, he takes out his guitar and plays a song or two in the café.

Three years into their marriage, they decided that they were ready for another phase of life and Connor came into the picture. Their son was five when they brought him home and now, he’s a healthy 12-year-old who enjoys soccer and has a knack in painting.

 “ _Bao bei_ , I’m done. Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

 

**

Strolling down the road along with Yixing, fingers interlacing, Minseok wishes that time can momentarily stop at this moment. He loves his son, but being fathers to an active 12-year-old, they don’t get much alone time like they used to be during their honeymoon period. Days like today where they don’t have to rush home as Connor’s at his friend’s sleepover party, don’t happen often, which make them even more valuable.

Yixing suddenly stops, snapping Minseok out from his own thoughts. He removes his coat and puts it on Minseok.

“Uh?”

“You get cold easily. Just wear it.” Yixing helps Minseok put on the coat. “What are you thinking?”

“Thinking of how lucky I am to have you.”

Yixing beams. “Likewise.”

“Yixing?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you know I never believe in fairy tales or love or happily ever after?” His question earns an uncomfortable look from Yixing.

“I’m aware of it.” Yixing hesitantly answers.

“I still don’t believe in fairy tales or love or happily ever after…” Yixing immediately pales. “Because I don’t need them.”

“You, Zhang Yixing, are a fairy tale come to life. You are happily ever after. You are love. You are everything that I want and need. So I don’t have to believe in them because I have you.”

Yixing breathes out in relief before bursting into laughter. “That’s so cheesy. Where did you get all these ideas from?”

“I don’t know. It just comes out.”

Yixing laughs. “Okay, my cute cheeseball.” Yixing kisses his forehead and pulls him into his embrace. “I love you, Kim Minseok. I love you so, so, so much.”

“I love you too, Zhang Yixing. I love you so, very much.”

**_You are the only exception_ **

**_And I’m on my way to believing._ **

 


End file.
